Questions that can't be answered

Let me just start off by telling a little bit about my childhood. I grew up in a big family. I have 3 sisters. Sissy (a.k.a. Kerry), Kim, and Abby (my twin). We are all very different and some say if we weren't sisters we probably wouldn't be friends. Maybe that's what makes us all so close. Growing up in a house full of girls had to be hell at times for my dad, especially once we all hit puberty. It probably was for my mom as well. I want to share a few of my favorites memories that will always stay with me.

Memory #1: Dad was always good about letting us paint his nails, comb his hair, put make-up on him..you know stuff little girls like to do. One day we had got him all fixed up. His blue eye shadow on, bright pink blush, and Red lipstick. I guess while we were styling his hair he fell asleep. Once we were finished fixing him all up we went on to doing something else. I don't know how long he had been asleep, but long enough to forget that we had got him ready for his glamour shots, when someone knocked on the door. Dad went outside to chat with the guy and came back in 20 minutes later. It wasn't until mom made it home and made a comment about his make-up that he remembered what we had been doing several hours before. He was totally embarrassed! hahaha!

Memory #2: We always dreaded when mom had to be out of town because that meant dad had to get us ready! We all three would hop into the bathtub, but not without a fight of who got front, and take our bath. We would then put on our clothes that we would be wearing the next day and get into bed. I mean heaven forbid dad have to get us dressed in the morning. The worst part was dad fixing our hair. Mom was a pro! Dad, on the other hand, was awful! Needless to say, we all would cry because he couldn't do it like mom.

Memory #3: With 5 girls in the house there was constant PMS. Dad came home one day with a Wal-Mart bag full of stuff. I'm sure he was proud of himself for actually purchasing these items. He pulled out a box of 50 tampons. We were all excited because we were constantly having to buy them. It wasn't until we realized what brand he bought. It was Kotex. I hated to be the one who told him, but it had to be done. "Ugh, Dad, we use Playtex Gentle Glide not Kotex". The typical male response "What's the difference?"..... From then on Playtex Gentle Glide was fully stocked in our bathroom.

My sisters and I are very lucky to have grown up in such a loving family. My parents made sure we had everything we needed and wanted. They sacrificed many things and worked extra hours to make sure we wouldn't go without. If I might say so myself, they did a great job raising 4 girls. Although we're not perfect (well, Abby claims she is prefect) and we've made mistakes, at the end of the day we know what really matters. It's not money and buying all the material things, it's love. It's having a family and friends to go to when you want to share your good news, or a shoulder to cry on. I couldn't imagine not having my parents. So many kids today are not being raised by their parents, but by a family member or someone they don't know. This is where my questions can't be answered. Why would a mother and/or father not want to take care of their child?

For the last 7 years my parents have raised my cousin Carmen, whom we claim as our sister. Her parents apparently had other priorities than raising her. My poor dad can't get a break, another girl! Ha! Carmen is so lucky to be raised by my parents! She is provided a loving family, a home, 4 awesome sisters, and she will be provided an education. But, she is now at the age where she has many questions. What do my parents say when she asks why her parents didn't love her? Or when she can't understand why she wasn't in Nana's belly? My parents have been faced with many questions and they give the best answer they can. It won't be until she is older that she can truly understand the whole situation. The meaning of "mom" and "dad" are not the same as they are for me. Her parents have missed everything. They know nothing about her. They don't know that she sleeps on my dads arm every night "because it makes her feel safe", or that she loves to do arts and crafts, or that she has 5 boyfriends at one time.

These questions will never be answered for me because I will never understand. I have two students that I teach swim lessons to, they are being raised by their "papa". Apparently, their parents just dropped them off and have walked out of their lives. I just want to say thank god for people like my parents and "papa" who take these children in and raise them as their own.